Giving Soulfood #28

When You Want To Text Them And You Know You Shouldn’t

Thought Catalog

I came across this article today, and boy did it sound familiar. 

There are so many people who have a place on this list of mine, people who I sometimes have a urge to text and people whom I really want to reconnect with, but for various reasons, it just simply doesn’t make any sense to text them again. The friendship and almost-relationship had run its course. Nothing but more pain and tears would come out of any attempt to reconnect.

So yes, I know all about what this feels like. It has been a state I’ve been in for a couple of years, and it has taken me a long time to come to peace with the fact that my brain and heart might not always be in sync.

So today, I’m not here to share about my sob story, I’ve talked about it so much on my blog already that there really isn’t much value to me talking about it some more.

Today, I want to talk about how I cope and how I overcome this really sucky feeling.

First of all, it is so important that you recognise the fact that you really shouldn’t be texting the person. Even if your heart doesn’t know it, your brain needs to recognise it as a fact.

Secondly, when the urge to text the person comes, just do it. I’m serious, just do it. Type it out in your ‘Notes’ or on whatsapp. Honestly, ‘Notes’ is preferred haha, and I will explain why later. This point might sound counterintuitive, but just read on. I’m really not crazy.

Thirdly, whatever you do, don’t send the message. You can delete it, or just keep it in your ‘Notes’. If you really want to hit the send button, send it to yourself, or to a friend whom you can trust, someone who knows that you’re still in the process of getting past these urges, someone who will support you the way you need to be supported.

You see, the logic behind these steps is that your urges are valid. Like I’ve been saying for so long, your feelings are valid. And it is no different when it comes to these sorts of urges. So what do you do with a completely valid feeling/urge? You accept it and let it run its course.

Having the urge to reconnect with people is innate and perfectly normal. The problem is that there are some people who, for the lack of a better way to phrase it, are not worth reconnecting with.

So the balance between these two places is this. Write what you wish to say to the person, but don’t send it, because chances are, that person really doesn’t care about what you are feeling. They are no longer in your life for a reason.

So to all of you out there who might need this, I hope this helps you in one way or another. If you really don’t know who to send the message to, you can always send it to my DMs. I won’t respond if you don’t want me to, but if you wish to talk, I’m all ears. Have a good Sunday!